Rounder, Darker, Weirder.

On bizarre plastic surgeries and surreal tans.

The other day I went through a nose surgery, aimed at correcting the deviation of some cartilage inside my nose. As such, it was a functional surgery (intended for physiologic defects) rather than an aesthetic one (intended for self-esteem defects). In about two weeks I should be able to breath and sleep better, and my performance when practicing sports should be less lousy. It was a pretty simple procedure that lasted less than an hour. It was in two parts: the correction of the deviation itself, and the cutting of some membranes that got bigger than normal because of the deviation.

To my surprise, just before my surgery, I was given the informed consent forms related to a regular ---aesthetic--- nose job. I was supposed to sign them. I explained the nurse in charge that my surgery was merely functional, and that I was very happy with the far-from-perfect nose I have. She smiled, recognized the error and got the correct forms for my case. She then explained to me that the usual thing is to do both functional and aesthetic procedures at the same time: to correct any deviation and to "trim" the visible part of the nose so to make it look prettier. We then started talking about how popular nose jobs for men are these days. She seemed to admire the fact I was happy with my imperfect nose by saying mine was a weird attitude.

In fact, according to her, this year was remarkably successful for the plastic surgery business here in Cali. In fact, because of the huge offer and convenient prices, for the last three-four years or so Cali is promoted as a city for "aesthetic tourism." She told me that even if they were a rather small center (and mainly aimed at functional surgeries), they had performed all kinds of aesthetic procedures during this season, working heavily even during Christmas eve. I was curious about her perception about surgeries. I thought that perhaps by seeing lots of nasty surgeries everyday you could somehow inhibit your own vanities. It turns out that is not the case, and it's almost the opposite I conjectured: nurses and other employees fall very easily into the vicious circle of aesthetic surgery. She told me she had resisted more than ten years of working as a nurse before her surgery. Even if I looked her carefully, I couldn't determine if she had indeed corrected something in her appearance. Early effects of general anesthesia, I guess.

This is to introduce one of the things that most surely would impress a foreigner when visiting Cali and other big cities in Colombia: the unusual, almost ridiculous proportions in women (and some men); boobs and butts that are excessively round and huge, and absurdly perfect noses decorating rather ordinary faces. Occurring in girls as young as 15, these are attacks to common sense that become a reality by means of plastic surgeries that are now accessible to everyone.

Here I could elaborate on how I perceive this as (yet another) side effect of the drug dealing culture, most likely intensified by the evident insecurities women have regarding their bodies. I would argue that male insecurities are part of the equation too: certain (ugly) guys that have no problems in "shaping" their girlfriends and lovers as unproportioned specimens that are attractive at a first sight, but unconceivable from any reasonable aesthetic standpoint.

I choose not to elaborate on that strand. It seems too complex a social problem and I am afraid that I am not qualified to comment on that. I prefer to make a comparison with a similar phenomenon that I have observed in Italy, namely the absurd tones one sees in (cosmetic) tans.

Indeed, I reckon that both unusual boob sizes and bizarre tones in tans are essentially instances of the same problem. Both are shocking for the outsider eye: I still can't get used to see some absurd orange/reddish tones in pale Italian skins during the summer. To me, even spending some time getting a sun tan it's absurd; hence, paying some money and making some appointments to "paint" your body is out of the question. The colors people select for their tans is an enigma to me: the most unlikely red or orange seem to be the key for social success. Even harder to believe is the fact that both men and women choose to color themselves precisely to go to the beach!

My European readers could now claim that my whole argument against tans is based on the fact that I like my skin color very much, so that I don't need any (natural or artificial) tan.

And they would be probably right. I think a strong conviction on the fact that you don't need either physical change (a tan or a plastic surgery) this is the key of the issue here. (Yes, here I am talking about some sort of 'solid self-esteem'.) In fact, in the same way most Colombian women would agree that getting a perfect tan is not that important as e.g. bigger boobs (even if you could find specimens with the full package), most Italian people would agree that reducing their noses or augmenting their boobs/butts is not that important. Here I rely on a very subjective measure: the number of imperfect noses, small boobs and absurd tans one can see on the streets.

I guess this is just another instance of the many cultural differences between Colombian (perhaps Southamerican?) and Italian (perhaps European?) societies. It's a difference in insecurities: here we worry a lot about certain aspects of appearance (apart from boobs, noses and butts, here there's a general awareness on having perfect, white teeth), whereas in Europe the focus is on other aspects: apart from the tan during the summer, your hairstyle and what you wear (clothes and shoes) seem to be more important than your proportions.

When I first got in Italy I kind of missed the excessive proportions in women one sees in Colombia. Average-size boobs in Colombian standards could be "the" boobs in Italy. For a little while I used to think that Italian people were somehow more confident than Colombians. Now I think that this is not the case, and that physical insecurities are the same; their particular manifestations seem to depend on side of the ocean you were raised.